Live Life Blessed

It is not about death it is about how you finish and where you go.  It’s about what you do in between birth and death and making a difference in this world. It is about focusing on the positive and living everyday to the fullest by giving back to others either with a simple smile or a kind word.  This is what we remember when someone dies.

  While I was in the hospital with my father for the past three months, I was able to care for him and give back to him.  Our love grew stronger for each other and I think we came to have a better understanding of each other. For the most part of our life, I would describe our relationship as tumultuous.  Although we both loved each other, my Father was a perfectionist and I am far from being perfect by any means.  It had only been nine years ago since the first time my Father had ever been to my home.  We had gone years without talking but of course I was always seeking his approval.  As I got older and learned to love myself for who I am, my need for my father’s approval grew less and less. 

One day several months ago, I received a phone call that my Father was in the emergency room and I immediately left for the Naples Community Hospital.  The trip lasted for almost three months, coming home occasionally to be with my family but for the most part it was spent caring for my father who grew weaker and weaker as time went by.  For the first time my Father depended on me and appreciated me being there for him and it felt good to have a purpose in his life although the circumstances were horrible.  Through these agonizing months watching him loose his dignity I learned a lot about both of us.  I learned that it is so much easier to give than take and what a pleasure it is to give back to someone everyday by making them happy.  I learned that my Father’s insecurities were from his Mother never loving him, nor wanting him and how hard it was for him to accept love much less give it back in return.  At times as I would stroke his hand with affection and he would pull it away, I came to realize it was not a reflection upon me but simply how some of us are made up through our life experiences.  But after not giving up, eventually he did not pull away from my affection and thanked me for taking care of him. 

My greatest fear was that my father was going to die and not go to heaven.  I did not know a great deal about his relationship with God but I had heard through the grapevine that he would read my website daily and most recently he had read some religious books.  So daily I prayed that when his time came, God would take him and fill him with the love he never got from his Mother.

 One day my Father put his hands on my face and asked me if what he was doing was okay… he was referring to taking out the feeding tube because we knew that would eventually lead to death.  I told him it was okay because I knew that he was going to a better place, to be with God.   I knew he eventually he would either get stronger or go to heaven.  The doctors told us his heart was better, his body just needed to get stronger.  Throughout the day, he would say to me OK Meliss I will see you later and I would say I am not going anywhere and he would smile.  He kept saying it and I could not understand why.

 Later that afternoon, I was walking through the halls of the hospital praying for my father when I heard a lady screaming her head off.  I went into the room and asked her what was wrong and she said she was all alone.  She was 92 and had a beautiful smile and beautiful blue eyes that lit up her entire face.  Her hair was silver grey and her smile was like a flower blooming.  Her name was Virginia, and she will never know the impact she made in my life that day.  I asked her how I could help her and she just said she wanted some attention.  She was so honest and beautiful.    So I put her in the wheel chair and started strolling her through the hospital halls.  I decided to take her into my father’s room.  She came in, my father waived to her and smiled and they had a short conversation.  We left and I continued to stroll her through the hall ways.  All of the nurses were thanking me but it was really a blessing for me.  She took away the pain of thinking about my father and Virginia made my father smile for the first time in a long time.  Nobody realized how she helped me and put a smile on my Fathers face.  As I would talk to her, her gratefulness gave me so much strength and pleasure.  The next day I arrived to see my father and as we walked into the room he took his last breath.  But I now understand why he said is this okay and I will see you later because he knew he was leaving to go to heaven.    I ran down to the nurses’ station to tell them that something was terribly wrong as we got to the room the nurse put the stethoscope on his heart and pronounced him dead. 

My heart was heavy with sadness but I was also so grateful to have the time I had with my father during his last months.  I put my hand on my father’s head as I stroked his hair and prayed for him before I left the room.  I asked God once again to please make sure he took him to heaven.  As I went to sleep that night my eyes were swollen from crying and my body was physically exhausted but throughout the night all that kept coming into my mind was 11:11 over and over again.  I couldn’t figure out why I continued to repeat 11:11 in my mind throughout the night.  The next morning we met with the cremation director and she put the time of death on the certificate as 11:11AM.  Immediately I knew God had been sending me a message all night long.  As I got home I Googled 11:11 and what did I find Revelation 11:11 ¹¹But after the three and a half days a breath of life from God entered them, and they stood on their feet, and terror struck those who saw them.

My father was born on January 3, 1931 at 12:30AM.  Three and a half days earlier we had celebrated his birthday and this message was from God telling me that he had entered the life of my father.   My father died on 1/6/09, three and a half days later.   I kept this to myself and continued to think about it as we were preparing for his services.  He was a member of the Elks club and they had a special service for him that was about the eleventh hour, at the end of the service the bell chimed eleven times.  As we landed in the Palm Beach Airport, coming through security, the same sounding bell chimed again eleven times. 

May we celebrate life and all the simple blessings we have around us each and every day.    It’s not about the end.  It is about all of the blessings that surround us and moving on to a better place.  While we are here on this earth, may we put a smile on someone else’s face, may we tell our friends and family how much we love them, may we stop and smell the roses and see all of the blessings that surround us.  May God bless you.

 

Melissa

 

 

 

Proverbs 25:28

 

Like a city whose walls are broken down
       is a man who lacks self-control.

 

 

Have our walls been broken down?  Do we as a society lack self-control? 

In our culture today, there is not much talk about self-control but you hear a lot of talk about self-indulgence.  We believe we should have the right to do anything we want with anyone we want to, as long as we are not affecting someone else.  We have become a self-centered self-indulgent falsity.  As long as I am doing my own thing and not bothering anyone else, I am entitled.  As long as I am not bothering you, why should you care how I live my life, or what relationships I have or whom I have them with.  Hasn’t this become our mentality?

 

So often, we suffer from consequences of poor decision making in our lives.  God wants us to walk in the confidence in him.  Where there is lack of self-control, it leads to self-indulgence, which opens the door to defeat.  Self-indulgence breaks down the walls, the barriers, the boundaries in our lives that God has intended to be there to guard us and protect our lives.  Be careful of the things you desire and don’t be enslaved by your self-indulgence, whether it be food, money, drugs, alcohol, lies, negative words, and the list goes on.  I think most of us have all fallen victim to one of these vices one time or another.  Self-indulgence leads to compromise and I often wonder if our compromises are taking our world over the edge and finding us where we never though we would be. 

 

The enemy comes in and enslaves us.  It is amazing how many people wake up and everything is lost.  They have lost everything and they are totally shocked.  We allow our self-indulgent lives to cause us spiritually to grow dull to the voice of God and we become numb to the movement of God.  We do not recognize how the spirit is moving within us.  God wants us to walk in the victory of life that he has ordained for us.  God has called us to be men and women of self-control. 

 

Twenty years ago, we did not hear about the constant killings on the street by our children.  We did not view reality TV that highlights sex.  Our top hit song was not about two girls kissing.  It was not cool to be like a gangster.  Our mouths were not nearly as vulgar and our thoughts were not filled with how to get the next materialist possession.  When our children came into the room, we did not tell them to be quiet because we were reading a simple email.  Our cell phones were not occupying our time with irreverent gossip.  Did we discuss so openly how the neighbor is having an affair like it is no big deal. 

 

I wonder have we found ourselves like a city with out walls?  Have we crossed over the boundaries?  Are we focused as a society on love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control or have we compromised ourselves.

I received this email from Today’s Word with Joel and Victoria Osteen.  I am signed up to receive their inspirational emails and this one made me think…

“Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever” (Psalm 23:6).

In the Bible, David was known as a man after God’s own heart. What kind of attitude did he have? Here in Psalm 23 he says, “Goodness and mercy are following me.” David lived with an attitude of expectancy. One translation says, “God’s kindness chases me everywhere that I go.” David’s attitude was, “Something good is going to happen to me. Everywhere I go, I know God’s blessings are chasing me. Favor is following me around.” No wonder he saw God’s goodness! No wonder he overcame his obstacles and accomplished great dreams. He knew good things were chasing after him.

Do you know what’s chasing you right now? Not debt. Not failure. Not mediocrity. Not defeat. Not lack. Not at all! You are a child of the Most High God. You have been crowned with favor. You have been redeemed from every curse. God has set you apart as His own special treasure. When you look back in your rear view mirror, you’d better get ready because you have a tailgater! There’s something coming toward you at a high rate of speed. You know what it is? Blessings, favor, supernatural opportunities, restoration, divine connections—God’s goodness and mercy following you all the days of your life! 

During the difficult times it is so easy to get in a negative rut wondering if things will ever turn around.  We go through so many peaks and valleys throughout our life.  How often when we are in the valley do we really believe in supernatural opportunities, blessings and favors?  Normally that is the last thing from our mind.  Of course it is easy to believe in blessings when life is easy but the true test is when we are struggling. 

It certainly cannot hurt to believe in supernatural opportunities and divine connections but why don’t we always have that belief.   At this moment, while I am in a small financial crisis the thoughts come into my mind about debt, failure, defeat, and lack of…and I keep moving forward at a snail’s pace wondering when I will be in the peak again.  Maybe if I started waking up every morning believing that God’s goodness and mercy are following me and great things are on the horizon for me, my life will turn around faster.  At least if I believe this I will feel better and what can it hurt…

I am excited to know and believe in my heart that my dreams will come true and blessings are on the horizon.  Believe and know that God’s mercy and goodness is with you during the good times and the bad times and see where the Lord will take you.   

 

Many blessings,

 

Melissa

The true test of who you are is when you are stricken with an unkind person.  Have you ever had one of those days where everything goes wrong?  That was my day yesterday.  I had to contact the IRS to see where our refund check was as well as our stimulus check.  Our accountant gave the IRS the wrong address so needless to say the checks are nowhere to be found and we really need the money.  After being transferred to several different locations and being put on hold for 15 minutes, I finally spoke to a lady, who I politely explained my dilemma.  She was so rude to me, that I almost did not know what to say.  I was really caught off guard.  She put me on hold to look up my information and when she came back I had decided to try the one word to the point approach to see if that would ease her tension.  Well it did not work, she only got worse.  When I asked her what I needed to do to change my address with the IRS, you would have thought by her response that I had asked the stupidest question in the world.  As she put me on hold once again, I began to get really angry at the way she was speaking to me.  I was thinking to myself that I was really going to give it to her when she got back on the phone.  Oh was my ego in an uproar.  I heard the ping of my computer, so I looked to see what email had arrived and the subject line said “Be Kind to Unkind People” and the phone went dead.  While I was checking my emails, I cradled the phone on my shoulder and hit the off button by mistake but I believe it was a blessing.   I started to think about this…Be Kind to Unkind People.   To be so bitter you either must not be happy with yourself, or you are having a bad day or something is wrong.  You cannot be happy and be unkind at the same time.  So I said a prayer for this lady, asking God to help her find peace and called the IRS once again.  This time I got the nicest lady, who told me exactly what to do, when to call back and she took care of everything. 

How many times have you been stricken with an unkind person and in turn you are unkind back?   It is not always easy to do but you can kill the unkindness with kindness.  This was my lesson for the day!

“Be Kind to Unkind People”

 Share your stories…

Many blessings,

 

Melissa  

A Dog’s Purpose – This is a good story!

Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish wolfhound named Belker. The dog’s owners, Ron, his wife, Lisa, and their little boy, Shane, were all very attached to Belker. I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family we couldn’t do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.

As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience.

The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker’s family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that, I wondered if he understood what was going on.

Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away. The little boy seemed to accept Belker’s transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker’s death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives. Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, ‘I know why.’

Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I’d never heard a more comforting explanation. He said, ‘People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life — like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?’

The six-year-old continued, ‘Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don’t have to stay as long.’

Live simply.

Love generously.

Care deeply.

Speak kindly.

 

Remember, if a dog was the teacher, you would learn things like:

When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.

Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.

Take naps.

Stretch before rising.

Run, romp, and play daily.

Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.

On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.

When you’re happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.

Stop when you have had enough.

Never pretend to be something you’re not.

If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.

Be always grateful for each new day.

Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass… It’s about learning to dance in the rain.

This story is so true.  Recently during a hospital stay for a hysterectomy I came to realize that half of my life was over and it was time to start living my best life.  It suddenly hit me that I have the responsibility to make my life happy and complete.   I too believe as Shane does that we are put on this earth so we can learn how to live a good life.  For the next year it is my intention to try to be the best person that I can possibly be and I will be writing about my journey.

I have committed to:

Reading the Bible Daily

Praying to God Daily

Memorizing a Scripture every Week

Giving Back to Others

Not participating in Gossip

Staying Positive

Being Thankful for the Small and Large Things

Setting Daily, Weekly and Yearly goals

Smiling Frequently, Laughing Often and Praising God

 

I started my journey several weeks.  My husband and I were invited to go away with my nineteen year old son’s girlfriends parents.  They have a one bedroom condo on the beach with a boat and jet skis.  I was looking forward to the trip but I was a bit concerned because I am still going through a little bit of what I call my hormone hell from the hysterectomy and six of us were staying in a one bedroom small unit.  Tania and Armando were in the bedroom, with their daughter on a roll away cot, my husband and I were on a fold out couch and my son was sleeping on an air mattress next to the couch.  We had one bathroom, so I packed some matches and hoped for the best!  This was the first time we had ever spent some real time with them and we were going to be in close quarters for five days.

Besides the fact of sharing a bathroom with 5 other people, I was also a little apprehensive of how I was going to explain that I needed to spend time by myself to pray and read the Bible every day.   I think some people are uncomfortable with this and that was not my intention.    So the first day, I quietly slipped away to the bedroom while everyone got ready for the beach and read my Bible and prayed.    The next morning everyone was getting ready for the beach and I blurted out “I cannot go to the beach until I read the Bible so I will have to meet you later”.  I felt uncomfortable saying this but everyone just looked at me and said okay and no one ever said another word about it for the remainder of the trip.  I just stayed behind and did my thing and God blessed me immensely.       

After many years in consumer product sales, I decided to resign from my position as National Sales Manager and start my own business with my very dear friend.  We designed and manufactured back to school products out of China and sold the product assortment to Office Depot.  Recently we shut the business down because it was too hard to compete in back to school being a small guy, so needless to say we lost my income and we are struggling financially.  At this time, there is no way we could afford to go on a vacation. So being invited to go to the beach was a blessing in itself but I truly had an amazing time.  This was one of the best vacations that I have had in years.  We all laughed immensely and truly enjoyed each other’s company.  Everyone laughed about the matches and I never experienced a foul smell coming from the restroom that was being used by six people for five days.  The weather was amazing and God was everywhere.  We saw dolphins frolicking with one another, fish swimming in the clear blue waters and white sandy beaches.  I enjoyed each day to the fullest and for once I stopped to smell the roses.  I stayed in the present and took each moment for what it was…a blessing.  I did not worry, or think about anything but enjoying what God was giving me at the moment.  I smiled often, laughed abundantly and praised God and it was paradise. 

The following is the philosophy of Charles Schultz, the creator of the ‘Peanuts’ comic strip.  You don’t have to actually answer the questions…you will get the point.

 

1.       Name the five wealthiest people in the world.

2.       Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.

3.      Name the last five winners of the Miss America pageant.

4.      Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.

5.      Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress

6.      Name the last decade’s worth of World Series winners.

 

 

How did you do?

 

The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday.

These are not second-rate achievers.  They are the best in their fields.  But the applause dies, awards tarnish and achievements are forgotten.  Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

 

Here are some additional questions…see how you answer these:

 

1.       List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.

2.      Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.

3.      Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.

4.      Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.

5.      Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.

 

Easier?

The lesson:  The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money or the most awards.  They are the ones that care.

 

As I was reading this, I thought how true this is.  When I think of winners in my life it has nothing to do with money, accolades or materialism it has to do with people who put a smile on my face.  I thought about a lot of people in my past who really made a difference in my life and I wondered how many of them truly realized it.  Did I express my gratitude?  Probably not to most of them and I still forget at times to reach out and express my gratitude.

 

Imagine what our world would be like if we all expressed more gratitude and said thank you for the small things in this world.  I think it would be a much better world to live in.  The best feeling for me is knowing that I have done something for someone else that makes them feel good.

 

Recently I had a hysterectomy and nobody prepared me for what was going to happen afterwards.  I expected to actually get a little rest and relaxation and have my husband cater to me for a little bit but this was the farthest thing to happen.  My husband is a wonderful man but he has no bedside manner and of course I expect him to read my mind and naturally take care of me.  He failed miserably.  After I got home from the hospital, it was the third day and I started crying nonstop for no apparent reason.  It was like a faucet had turned on and I could not turn it off.  Finally after the third day, I called the nurse at the doctor’s office.   I had to call back three times before I could leave a message because I could not stop crying.  In between my sobs, I left her a message that something was terribly wrong with me and I needed her help.  Well she called me right back, she calmed me down and told me that my hormones were going through a major change.  I was relieved to know that I was not going crazy but I needed relief fast.  I am normally a pretty happy upbeat person.  At this point, my husband needed me to get relief as well because he did not have a clue with what in the world to do with me.  The nurse called me in a prescription for hormones and three days later after taking them the faucet was still running.  I attempted to call the nurse and she so patiently spoke to me and reassured me that I was going to get better.  A day later I started with horrible headaches and I again called the nurse and she so patiently told me once again that it was my hormones adjusting.  Well this went on for weeks and every time I spoke to the nurse she was like an angel to me.  She was so kind and so very patient. I bet you I called her at least 10-12 times.   So many people have jobs that deal with the public and they are not patient and kind.  It only takes a little bit and it goes a long way.  Today I wondered how many people make a special effort to thank her.  The doctor is the one who gets paid all of the money and the nurse is the one who hears all of the constant complaints.   My husband had no idea of what I was going through and could not console me…if anything I think he wanted to run the other way, God bless him. He had no idea of where his wife went or what to do for her…  I am happy to say, after six weeks of hormone hell I am back to my old self!   I have decided to make a difference in someone else’s life and I am going to send Kellie, the nurse, a thank you note letting her know how much I truly appreciated her support and compassion.  Moving forward, each week, I am going to send someone from my past a thank you note, letting them know the difference they have made in my life.

 

How can you make a difference?  Share ways that you make this world a better place by saying thank you and giving that extra little bit….

 

Many blessings!