Live Life Blessed

For several months when I awake in the morning my hands are stiff and hurt.  It is hard to open my hands as they are stuck and ache with pain.  Once I get them moving the pain slowly goes away and then comes the task of getting out of bed.  As my feet hit the floor, the pain of the soles of my feet shoot through my body, I walk crooked like I am a ninety year old women as my knees, back  and neck or stiff and aching.  This too passes the more I move but getting there is hard.  The worst part is the debilitating fatigue and brain fog.  At times I feel like I am going to lose my mind because I cannot think straight and the depression is overwhelming.  When the noise gets loud it is overwhelming in my head and I wonder to myself am I going crazy.  My head pounds with pain intermittingly throughout the day and my face constantly itches.   My nerves are at their limit and my attitude is short.   I continue to keep a smile on the outside but I wonder why do I feel this way, is it all in my head, am I making myself ill always focusing on the way I feel, what can I do to make myself feel better.  As my husband goes to work every day, and I get up only to find myself back in bed before noon, feeling such guilt wondering maybe I am just lazy.  So I tell myself maybe I need exercise or possibly I have a vitamin deficiency, I try to get in the sun and exercise.  The symptoms continue to get worse and I find myself in a major depression not knowing how to get out of this downward spiral.  Each morning I pray to God to give me a diagnosis and make me feel better.  Friends and family ask me if I have gotten a job and I smile and say not yet but deep down inside I wonder how I could work and keep it all together.  I believe my family and friends think it is all in my head so I keep it to myself and continue to pray, besides focusing on the negative is not going to get me better, either.   After numerous doctor visits, and crying in many of their offices finally I received a diagnosis that I have Systemic Lupus.  The diagnosis was a relief to finally know what was wrong with me yet made me angry and sad that I had yet another hurtle to deal with in my life.  So I cried, yelled at God “why me” and then finally accepted that this is just another way to make me strong.  I wonder if this was presented to me to help others with this disease and perhaps it helps me understand what it is like to have a chronic illness as so many people in this world suffer from everyday.  Perhaps I am supposed to show the world how you can turn around by looking at the positive of this.  My skin will glow as I will never be a sun goddess again living in Florida since the sun flairs Lupus.  Each day I will appreciate life even more to be alive and living in this wonderful world.

 I have released my sorrow and anger to God and I am ready to live my best life with God by my side and being a blessing to others.  I truly believe that God puts obstacles in our way for a reason and I know there are bigger and better things on the horizon for me.  I have jumped over this hurtle, the door is closed and I can’t wait to see the new door open.  I am excited to have this behind me and to start taking care of my body the way I should have a long time ago.  I am so ready to live life to the fullest and see where our awesome God takes me.  I know that I will be a blessing to others and I am stronger than I have ever been. 

I would like to thank my friends and family, especially my husband for standing by me through these past months and putting up with me J.  Our God is an awesome God and I am truly blessed with wonderful friends from all over the world and I have a fabulous family…what more can a girl ask for.

May God bless you!

Melissa

It was Saturday evening and I was sitting in the bathtub soaking my aching bones feeling sorry for myself.  In October of last year, I developed pneumonia and ended up in the hospital for a week.  Two days after I got home, my Father fell ill and I went to take care of him on and off for three months, until his passing in January. Once again following the funeral, I was back in the hospital for another week with pneumonia and following that I came down with shingles.  For the past month, I feel like I constantly have the flu and my joints are stiff and aching.  I am so ready to get back to life as normal with an abundance of energy but for some reason it is not happening that way.  Not realizing it, in my mind I was having a real pity party for myself when all of the sudden I looked out the window and saw in the sky a U that a plane had written…I watched as I tried to play hang man and guess what it was going to say but I was far from the phrase…the skywriter wrote U + GOD =J.  Immediately my spirits were lifted and it took away my worries.  I was gleaming with happiness with the reminder that God is always with us.  After a few minutes the smoke began to fade and I thought how often our faith fades with everything going on in our lives these days.  I was so thankful for the skywriter, it only takes a little bit to turn your thoughts back to what is important, God loves us.   Whenever I am having one of my moments of why do I feel so bad, I think of U + God =J. 

There are so many different ways we can make a difference in this world and my thanks go out to Jerry Stevens the Palm Beach Skywriter.

Here is an excerpt that I took from an article about Jerry Stevens…I think it says it all.

Stevens, however, is just a Roman Catholic skywriter who says he frequently heads toward the heavens to spread a positive message. He understands why he makes some people nervous, but he believes he is doing God’s work.

“People are scared. They know something’s bad is in the wind,” Stevens said. “But the important thing to do is to think about God. I’m just reminding people that God does love them. If America doesn’t wake up and turn to God, we won’t see the blessings that we’ve seen in the past.”

He said while some people may be alarmed when they see his message, which can be visible up to 35 miles away, others will be uplifted.

“You can’t imagine what it’s like when you’re feeling low, wondering if God is listening to your prayers,” he said. “And then you walk out of your house and up above in big letters right over you, there’s ‘God Loves You.’”

http://www.turntojesus.net/ContactTheSkywriter/contacttheskywriter.html

Many blessings,

Melissa

http://www.livelifeblessed.com